Guardian Angel
by Konig15
Summary: Why did Crono chose Marle over Lucca? Who says he did? Crono's version of the confrontation with Lavos in the Ocean Palace and aftermath. Hint, hint: CronoXLucca
1. No Hero

Guardian Angel

Disclaimer: All characters featured herein are trademarks of Squaresoft. I own nothing and I make no money off this piece.

No Hero

My name is Crono, and I'm about to do something I'm really going to regret. Something stupid, namely, getting myself killed. But hey, self-preservation's never stopped me from doing stupid shit before, so why stop now?

So here it ends. This, place: it shimmers in hues of rippling water. There is fog, the air is stale. It is as ethereal as anyplace I'm likely to see on the mortal coil. I'm not alone, but the rest, they're beaten, at least more so than I. And I've got to save them.

I've fought countless battles and never flinched; I know fear. But risking one's life is one thing; the certainty of death however, is another. I always wanted to be a hero; and there's little that's more heroic than self-sacrifice. But Altruism comes with a new feeling: sadness; unbelievable, unbearable, sorrow. Regardless, I've got to steel myself, so I can do what has to be done.

Damnit! It wasn't supposed to be like this!

But it is.

From where I stand, I can see everything my life has become: my friends, Lucca, Marle, Schala, and unexpected ally of sorts, Magus. They're all beaten and bruised. And further back, my enemies: the Queen and Lavos. The queen is laughing. Laughing at us. Laughing at Schala, her own daughter, and the pain she's in. The Queen laughs like she hasn't a care in the world. Doesn't she know? Doesn't she care that her whole kingdom's about to be destroyed? I already know those answers, but how can a person, a queen above all, slaughter her own people in the quest for immortality? It boggles my mind.

Lavos just gloats silently. His tri-hinged mouth opens and closes without a sound; as if he's savoring the thought of what we'll taste like. Given the chance, I think he'll eat us all. But I won't let him. After all, it'd be embarrassing to go to Heaven and be forced to admit being eaten by giant porcupine.

I can't help but laugh at my own arrogance. It was supposed to be easy. So Easy. We storm through the Ocean Palace; we use the Guru's Red Knife to destroy the Mammon Machine, thereby saving the princess, the Queen's sanity, and whole the kingdom of Zeal. Yes, that Zeal; the mythical, magical kingdom that once floated high above our world.

Anyway, we get hailed as heroes, with parades, banquets, titles, medals; generally a big brouhaha. Yeah, that would have been nice. Hopefully our new Zealean allies would give us what we'd need to defeat Lavos. That was the plan.

Okay, back up.

I need to explain this.

See this old man here? Dark glasses, big white mustache, funny looking hat? That's Melchior, Zealean Guru of Life, one of the three main advisors to the Queen. He gave us the "Ruby Knife" to destroy this little thing: the Mammon Machine. Why? Because it drains energy out of Lavos. Who is Lavos, besides being a castle-sized porcupine? Ah, that's a tough one. Simply put, Lavos is a planetary parasite that lives deep in the core of our world, and once he's fed enough, he'll come up to the surface and destroy everything I know and love. That's why my friends and I are trying to kill him.

Back to the plan. Of course with my luck, it went completely wrong. The Queen was too far-gone, and worse, she cranked the Mammon Machine up to maximum power, causing Lavos to wake up. It's really not necessary to say he wasn't in a good mood, and we just happened to come in at that moment. I have fantastic timing; I just wish it were fantastic in a good way.

We have seen the enemy and he has kicked our asses. And in all honesty, I should have seen this one coming too. Fact one: I already knew Melchior; he's a master sword smith back home. Now, being both a Guru and a sword smith wouldn't be so hard for me to swallow, however, I first met him thirteen thousand years from now! His younger self here gave me the Ruby Knife. Fact two: I met Belthasar, one of his colleges, sort of, and he told me a great disaster flung him into the post-apocalyptic future that I'm trying to prevent from happening. I would like to have asked him about the specifics, but he was kinda dead.

Question class: when you meet two Zealean Gurus thousands of years after Zeal collapsed and one of them posthumously tells you a disaster stranded him in time, what do you do? Tick, Tock… Pencils down, class. The correct answer is: YOU ASK THE OTHER ONE WHAT HAPPENED! Of course this just occurred to me and therefore does me no good. Lucca should have thought of this; she's the brains of our little outfit. Of course this is what happens when you have teenagers trying to do anything: they screw up at some point. I'm not mad at her, this is all my fault. I am the leader of the said outfit.

_Come on Crono! _

_Snap out of it and do what you must! _

_Stop wasting time!_

_You are a son of Guardia! To defend is in your blood!_

Guardia, my home. How I miss it. Everything I know, everything I love, is there. Now I'll never be able to go home. Since this is the past, I wonder if I'll be able to see history unfold from my vantage point in the Heavens. See the great empires rise and fall. See Guardia founded, see it flourish, see it end. See my parents again; see myself grow up, to have dreams destined to be dashed on shores of time.

I'm a natural born Guardian.

The pun is not lost on me.

Unfortunately, a Guardian does not a hero make, necessarily. Sometimes they just play the part. Who was I kidding? I'm no hero; I'm a punk kid from Truce, caught up in something that's put me WAY over my head. Everyone in our group looks up to me. Wow, look at Crono, he's such a good swordsman, so talented, so young, such a natural leader. Some leader I make; I led us into this deathtrap, this Ocean Palace.

Since my legs still won't move, I'll be honest. I'll tell you a secret. I'm a coward, a moral coward. That's why I don't talk. I really love to talk; in fact sometimes you can't shut me up, but for the most part I'm deathly quiet. Why? Let me show you.

This is my foot, or rather my foot in my boot, which is often covered in mud and other icky things.

This is me opening my mouth to speak.

This is me with my foot in my mouth, tasting boot leather, mud and other icky things. Yum. So I keep my mouth shut.

Then there are times when this cowardice gets me into trouble. See, back when we first saw Lavos destroy the future, Marle, in an emotional tizzy, demanded that we kill him. Now, I thought this was one of dumbest things she ever said, but then Lucca agreed with her! Then they asked me what I thought.

What I wanted to say was, and I quote "No! What in the Holy Hell are you thinking?!" Ooh, alteration. Now before you condemn me, think about it. We just saw this creature pummel the earth flat, single handedly defeating every military on the planet in the process. Excuse me, every military on the planet a thousand years in our future. And Marle wanted us, three teenage fugitives, to kill it. Then Lucca agreed with her! They were out of their goddamned minds, but I couldn't bear to lose face by introducing cold hard reality and have my courage outclassed by two girls. So like an idiot, I nodded my head and said, "Okay."

Here's a lesson kiddies: stand up to peer pressure; it might save your life.

Well, we did get magic after that, so we had a fighting chance. But we didn't know we were going to get magic at the time. On second thought, that point is pretty moot as Lavos still wiped the floor with us.

Most importantly, however, was how my cowardice affected my relationships. It's funny, I'm about to die, and you know what I'm thinking about? Women. I was never totally forthright with the three women who mean the most to me and it's going to be a long time before I can be honest with them, or be with them at all.

Take my Mom. The last time I saw her was the first day of the Millennial Fair. She told me to be back by dinner. I never came home. I could have. After we'd rescued Queen Leene in the Middle Ages, I could have stopped by to tell Mom where I'd been for the last few days. Marle even asked if I was going to, but I couldn't stand the thought of the inevitable screaming fit I'd be subjected to. So I continued to escort Marle home. Too bad her father had a worse fate in store for me. And since he's the King, it was pretty nasty. You rescue a princess and get tried for high crimes. You get acquitted, and they still try to lop off your head. Only in Guardia.

After I escaped, I couldn't go home; I was a wanted man. I miss her. Isn't that pathetic? Heroes don't miss their mommies. They don't miss they way their moms take them into their arms and rub the back while saying comforting things like "It's gonna be alright" and "I'll always love you." But I do, I miss it terribly.

Now, finally, my legs are moving. Time, God, I need time. My sacrifice won't save them if they don't get out fast. I need to warn them. I get up and approach Magus. He's calling out to Schala, though it's I think he's too weak to be heard. I truly hate the murdering, rat bastard, but for some reason he wants to kill Lavos, and I suppose for that reason, we can put aside the little fact that he tried to wipe my country of the map 400 years…well 400 years before my time. I think the Queen Zeal is watching me but if she is, she's not saying anything.

I crouch down beside Magus's form and shake his shoulder. He lifts his head up and glowers at me. He can barely talk, but he makes sure to growl at me. "What is it, boy?" Asshole.

I growl back. "Shut up and listen." I honestly wonder why I want to save this asswipe. "Get ready to run." He smiles with a knowing look. One down, three to go.

Schala's next. She looks like she's been through holy hell and then some. Her normally lovely blue hair is matted and her face is the definition of anguish. I shout, "Schala, Schala!"

I have to get a response. She saved my life once and it's only fair that I return the favor. Finally, she looks at Lavos and speaks to me. "P...please escape ...Crono! Humans can't hope to defeat it."

"So you are Crono." Zeal breaks her silence, taunting me. It gives me chills, hearing how evil she sounds. "Why don't you do as Schala says and run away, yelping in terror? Isn't your life precious to you?" Then she laughs again. That's even worse. Oooh, I'll get that bitch. Thinking she's so safe on Lavos's shoulder, I'm gonna teach her a lesson, but not yet.

"Get ready to run." I'm half way there.

Schala's trying to summon up her strength, so I go over to Marle. She's the second female with whom I haven't forthright. Princess Nadia of the house of Guardia. She's sweet and kind and beautiful. She's so innocent and vivacious.

I don't have the heart to tell her I don't love her.

Looking at it in the third person, I find it rather strange. Doesn't every guy dream of winning the heart of a beautiful princess? Mutual attraction is there and I know she cares about me, a lot. She thinks she loves me. She's never said as much, but let's just say subtlety is not one of her strong points. She stares at me, she's got this dreamy, faraway look in her eyes. And sometimes, every so often in private, her voice, its tone, its stammering gives away what she feels. She, is in love with a hero, and a hero I am not. Even what I'm about to do, this isn't heroic; this is me cleaning up my own mess.

Marle's conscious: good. She looks at me "Crono…we can't leave Schala here." Always thinking of others, it's touching.

"No, we won't," I answer back. "Now listen, get ready to run. Quickly." So little time, but they must all be on their feet for this to work. She nods silently, but the curious look in her eyes tells me she has no idea what I'm going to do. Poor girl.

I hate to say this, but she's not the brightest crayon in the box. And she's spunky. I hate spunky. Have you ever been woken up by spunky person? You're tired and dazed and the said spunky person says something like, "It's time to get up! Let's start a new and wonderful day!" Being woken up is bad enough, but all the added energy just exacerbates the situation. As a heavy sleeper, my first urge is to throttle. My second is to go back to sleep. They cancel each other out and I'm left with deep annoyance.

But hey, everyone's flawed. I'm FAR from perfect, as you can plainly see. The thing is, Marle is scatterbrained. I mean dictionary perfect scatterbrained. When we first went time traveling, we accidentally changed history and got Marle erased. In her own words, she was torn apart and taken someplace dark and cold. Well, we fixed it, and Marle was restored. Upon our return to the present, she said, and I'm quoting (because I still can't believe she said it) "That's the most fun I've had in months!" If my Mom had been there, she would have whapped Marle upside the head and into the next county, princess or no. Getting erased from existence is NOT FUN!

I feel terrible thinking such things, especially now. She's a fine girl; compassionate, passionate, good-hearted, courageous. It's not that she's bad; she just needs to grow up. And besides, her father would never allow it. That's why we could never be, even if I wasn't…

Oh, this is the kicker. You're gonna love this one. My deepest, darkest, secret. The last day I saw her, the first question my mom asked me was if I hadn't slept well because I was so excited by the fair. Oh, I hadn't slept well all right, but it wasn't because of the fair. I was trying to muster up courage, to go to fair and tell…her…you see…

I love Lucca. I love her intensely.

Don't ask me when I first realized it; I don't know. I do know I have for a while. Maybe I always have. Goofy glasses and all. We've been friends since my first solid memories. Crono and Lucca, thick as thieves, partners in crime. I have other friends, but none like her. She's always been there for me, and I've tried to always be there for her.

She's incredible really. An absolutely brilliant mind, and not bad looking either. She can be downright beautiful when she's done up properly. That's why I find her attractive, but not why I love her.

I remember when we were little kids, before she could run circles around me intellectually. We'd play knights and dragons, and of course I'd be the hero, and she'd be the damsel in distress. But most of the time, when I was supposed to pretend to fight the dragon, Lucca would inform me that he was gone. Sometimes she'd killed him while I was fighting his minions (how's a dragon supposed to have minions, anyway? Well, that's how we played it,) or she blew his cave up with dynamite or she just pestered him until he decided she wasn't worth keeping. There was one time where she convinced the dragon he'd be safer, happier and could get better digs by lending out his fire breathing skills. Help the blacksmiths heat their forges. That might have been the last time we played. At the time, it annoyed me, which I would find ways to reciprocate later. Now, it's, well, cute.

She's so confident and determined. She can do it all. She's an inventor, scientist, maker of all things that blow up inadvertently. And yet she's always at it. Some far-fetched invention of hers will blow up, along with six months of work. Oh, she'll pout and scream, and curse (and you would not believe the shit that comes out of this woman's mouth), but ten minutes later, she's back at it. She'll keep going till she gets it right.

She's got bravado too. Did I tell you she saved my life once? Remember how Marle's dad, or least the Royal Chancellor, wanted my head? Well, there I was, strapped in the guillotine. Rumor is that you're still alive when they cut your head off, or body, whatever. I was staring down at the wicker basket, wondering whether or not my last moments would be as a bleeding head. I'd just decided I didn't want to know, when in comes Lucca, blasting away with a Zonker-38, knocking the guards unconscious. Then she twirls it around on her finger and asks me whether I think her new gun is cool. What a woman! That day, she was the angel of my deliverance.

Maybe that's why I love her, or it could be because I can't have her. It wouldn't work. Science is her life, her passion. She's a career girl. Even if I could win her over, I'd always play second fiddle. My pride won't allow that. I can admit that now, because I'm going to be dead in a few minutes. Besides, a good man ought to know his limitations.

It's incredible, absolutely incredible, how the mind can race, when it fears death, getting its thoughts organized, putting its house in order. Fascinating. I've been able to think my whole love confession, and part of the conceit and I'm not even to Lucca yet. Granted, she's the furthest from Marle. I should have planned my route. But dipshit and porcupine don't seem to care, arrogant bastards. Their loss, my gain.

Back to the conceit. I doubt I could win Lucca over anyway. Lucca and Marle aren't my only female friends. It was to these others I discreetly inquired about taking friendship to the next level; I'd ask them if they'd ever considered dating (appropriate male friend, not me, here). And they all said "No, that'd be like doing it with my brother," or thereabouts. Apparently, if you're friends with a girl for too long, they perceive you as a non-sexual entity. I don't claim to understand this convention, or females in general. But as much as Lucca and I understand each other, I must take into account she is a female. Otherwise, I wouldn't be pining over her.

Now I've arrived. Lucca looks woozy but she's almost on her feet. She looks at me, dazed. "A...are you all right? At this rate we'll all…Uooo!" She almost falls down, but I grab her. She steadies herself. I wonder what she means, a this rate…

Uh oh, Looking around I can see what she means. We're slowly being sucked towards Lavos! I'm running out of time. "Get ready to run, now." My tone betrays my urgency. She looks into my eyes. God, I want to kiss her. No time, no fucking time. Her eyes go wide. She's on to me.

"Crono, you got that look; the one you get when you're about to do something stupid. Please tell me you're not going to do something stupid." Concerned and worried overtones fill her voice. If she were anyone else, I'd be worried she was talking about me confessing love. But I know her; she didn't pick it up at all. Hey, we're good friends, not psychics. We can't always read each other. That's why I was going to tell her how I felt at the fair, to see if I was wrong about our prospects. Then all the crazy shit, which led us to this moment, began. I haven't been able to keep my nerve long enough since.

"Just be ready. You saved my life. Now it's time I returned the favor." I turn before she can say anything. I can guarantee she knows what I going to do, and she's got her hands to her mouth in shock. Last minute of my life, and I can't tell her even now. I guess it's better this way.

Okay, Crono, it's go time. Uhhh, I feel like I'm gonna wretch, I'm so scared. I run towards the beast before I lose my nerve. Honestly, I don't want to die. I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die.

But I've got to. All of us will if I don't do something.

Zeal, the blue haired bitch, taunts me again. "Haven't you given up yet? What do you hope to do? You challenge Lavos with that battered body of yours? Mwa ha ha...See the power of Lavos and feel his wrath!" I swallow my hate, my anger, my anguish, for a moment. Lavos is busy with me. I give the signal.

"RUN!!! RUN NOW!!!"

I can't kill Lavos, but maybe I can take out the queen. I don't even want to kill him now, just the bitch. Serf or queen, a traitor is a traitor, and will be dealt with as such. On behalf of the Zealean people, but mostly out of my own anguish, I start to cast Luminaire for the last time.

Wanna eat something, Lavos? Eat this, motherfucker! Magic lifts my body into the air. Wait! They aren't running! Why aren't they running?! Run! Run! Live!

Lavos unleashes his own force, and worse, it's gonna hit me before I can hit him. I go limp with terror. "Crono!!" Marle cries first. The rest are dumbfounded.

Then I hear Lucca. "Stop, Crono!" I've never heard her voice so full of pain before. Could it possibly be because of love? But it's too late. Goddamn it! I don't know if she loves me at all! I love her; I don't care if I can't have her! I just want her to live! Run, please…

Right before Lavos's blast hits me, I have one last vision, a daydream. The Millennial Fair is closing for the day. The sun is setting just left of Guardia Castle, leaving everything in the pink and purple twilight. Lucca and I are in the Telepod pavilion, silently and gently kissing one another. I've told her, and she feels the same way. It's the start of something simple. Marriage, house, kids. At this moment, it's all I want. Maybe I could have had it, in another life. As it is, it's just another one of those dreams, dreams dashed on the shores of time.

…….

Author's note: This is my first fanfic, so I'd like some feedback. It's the result of sitting through every Death Peak scenario and listening to Enigma's "Sadness." I suppose this is a different Crono than the one you're used to. I brought him off the pedestal, and he's more intellectual than most of the other versions of him. CT doesn't delve into his personality, so I thought I could humanize him a bit while retaining his heroic nature. How'd I do? Here, he's supposed to be angry and sad, he's lost everything he's got and ever gonna have (to paraphrase Eastwood in Unforgiven). Did it come across as believable? Every coma in here is intentional. They are where he brakes in his monolog.

I was a Crono/Marle fan until I read "Chrono Trigger: Relationships" by John Donahue at As far as I'm aware, it's the only completed Crono/Lucca fanfic out there. The romance was tacked on at the end, but its there and the story's decent, and that's what matters. It got me thinking, and do you know what I think? Crono's a fool to court Marle. I've got enough in game quotes to show not only she's ditzy, but also rather stupid. I used one of the more painful one here. Crono and Lucca makes much more sense. Till I can update again,

Konig15


	2. What Friends Are For

Hello again! Thanks for all the positive feedback! I really appreciate it. Now I have the dubious honor of being the first author to have a completed Crono/Lucca fic on FF.net. I say dubious because in over three hundred fanfics here I seen Crono involved with everyone but Lucca and Robo and Lucca's been in everyone's bed but Crono and Robo's. Poor Robo, getting absolutely no play, he he. Why is this? Why does it seem to be taboo for the best friends to hook up? Liete, I understand your question. You seem to think brotherly love (agape) and romantic love (Eros) are mutually exclusive. I don't believe that though. I keep thinking of the Drew Carey show, which I watch often. Most anyone who's seen it knows Drew and Kate (good childhood friends) are supposed to hook up and marry, but they can't. Cause if they did, Drew's life would no longer completely suck, which is the show's premise. Nonetheless, when Drew and Kate are involved its interesting to see how they can be both friends and lovers at the same time. Yes the Drew Carey show is very silly, but Drew and Kate's relationship is not. I'll shut up now. What Friends Are For 

"One. Two. Three!"

 Push the shell, climb the shell. 

Step 1. Kill Lavos Spawn. 

Step 2. Push Spawn shell to cliff. 

Step 3. Align shell with lowest point of cliff side.

Step 4. Climb shell.  

Step 5. Continue to Summit.

Warning: Shell Spikes are extremely sharp! Negligent use can result in: impaling, eye loss, and/or death. Exercise extreme caution!

Step one is complete, so we find ourselves pushing the corpse of an overgrown porcupine so we can continue up this stinkin mountain. It's slippery, I'm tired, and the corpse is covered in giant, razor-sharp quills, not to mention it smells horribly, as corpses tend to do. Damn, it's heavy.

This is almost as fun as actually fighting the damn thing. Joy. 

At least the spawn are relatively small. I'd hate to push something even a quarter the size of big daddy Lavos. Finally, the thing begins to give way. The ankle deep snow gives way as well, and with a final groan we slide the shell to the cliff. It hits with a definitive thud, which passes through our bodies. I can't even revel in the moment; an especially icy blast of wind hits me, almost as though the mountain itself wants to spite me. 

It doesn't matter. Our progress up this rock is like the march of science: slow at times, dogged by obstacles, but constant and unstoppable. Nothing can keep science at bay. At least that's how I always imagined things. The 10th Century has been one of progress, hope, achievement, and when I was young and stupid I thought it would always be that way. I've only been old and wise for three weeks. The day Crono died. 

I look up to where we have to push the shell. It's a pass in the cliff side. Well, technically, it's too small to be a real pass, but it's the same set of topographic features. Crono taught me how to read maps like that. The same Crono I saw die, the one I couldn't save…

_Damnit Lucca! Don't think like that! Just get to the top and we'll have him back!_

I truly want to believe that. I keep saying it, to everyone. There's no official hierarchy within our group, but make no mistake; Crono was our leader, and I was his XO. When everyone was going to pieces after the Ocean Palace disaster, I was the one who had to keep it together. I had to be strong, I still have to be strong, but inside I'm dying. I'm so tired, not just physically, but mentally, but I WILL see this to the end. Desperation, pure desperation, has driven me here.  

"Okay, round back boys!" I sound much more enthusiastic than I feel. Luckily, the back of the spawn is largely free of spines, at least ones pointing towards us. Glenn and Robo trudge towards their destination; I clean the snow off my glasses and follow behind. This would be difficult even if we weren't tired from fighting. It's so damnably cold, with heavy snows and great gusts of wind. I really can't complain about the wind though; if it wasn't blowing, the snow could easily be two or three feet deep. Then I would have had to use my fire magic to clear a path all the way up the mountain. Thank God for small favors. We line up, this time shoulder to shoulder.

"One. Two. Three!"

Push the shell, climb the shell. It sounds so much easier than it is.

I've been reexamining a lot of my cherished assumptions lately. My two friends here, I would have found them strange a few months ago. Glenn's a talking frog and Robo's, well, a robot. I can't believe I let Marle rename him. R-66Y was cool, practical and the name, or at least, serial number he came with. They appear quite exotic, but I trust them with my life. We've been through so much together. Glenn's been able to cure my Batrachophobia/Bufonophobia by just being there (that's fear of frogs and toads respectively. Biologists do make a distinction, but I'm more inclined towards physics myself, so I don't.)  

Robo's actually taught me something else, something more important. He's shown me that a machine can be more than the sum of its parts. I used to believe machines were not capable of good or evil, period. And I was most adamant on that point. Robo and his R-series "brothers" quickly showed me otherwise. They were as evil, vindictive and cruel as any mystic I've ever fought. Robo, on the other hand, is kind and compassionate and genuinely curious about the world. I'd go so far as to say they all have souls.

You know, I was never big on religion. It's not, that I didn't believe in what I was taught necessarily; just I thought that it was irrelevant for all practical purposes. I didn't believe in ghosts; now I've fought and talked with them. Like many, I thought that the accounts of the mystics raising undead legions to their side in the Mystic War were hyperbole. They're not. I thought the fall of Zeal was just a moral fable by Cupo; I lived through it. I didn't believe in magic; now I use it so much it doesn't disconcert me in the slightest. It should though. I don't understand magic, I suppose that why it's magic. I generally don't like it when I can't understand things. It means I'm not in control. It means, in some small way, I'm helpless. 

I am Lucca, witness to tragedy. I was, driven to science, at eight years old. One of my father's inventions, I can't even remember what it was supposed to do; it started on its own. It caught my mother's skirt; dragged her along towards those great, crushing, gears that still haunt my dreams. I didn't know how to stop it; I was paralyzed with terror as the machine…tore my mother's legs into pieces! Just thinking about it, I can hear her screams, see and smell the blood. It was everywhere! Mom survived, that in itself is a miracle. I swore then I would never, ever, be helpless like that again. 

I suppose that scarred little eight-year-old girl was what drove me to decide that I'd help Marle kill Lavos. I saw, that thing, destroy the world. Through the static of that old archive tape, I saw the cities flattened, the forests burn, the people die. Again, I was a witness to tragedy. I couldn't bear to stand by and see it all be destroyed. So I, Lucca, swore I'd destroy something all the nations a thousand years in the future could not. Now I really regret letting emotion get the better of me.

Even though he agreed with us, I could tell by his eyes that Crono thought we were nuts. Oh, its not like he was…no wait, is, a coward by any means. We've fought some frightening creatures over the last few months, and he's never backed down. Besides, no one in their right mind would keep such a catastrophe secret if there was even a small chance it could be averted. He probably wanted to do something more practical. I'm not good at practical, but it would probably have run along the line of the following: we wait until things cool down back home, then bring the king proof of Lavos' threat to the kingdom. That way, Guardia would have a thousand years to study, research, and plan ways to kill the space porcupine. But, I never asked, and he never told. 

And then the last tragedy. In retrospect, I should have been able to avert it. I should have had us question Melchior the second we could. Melchior's name was on the Masamune, he even helped us reforge it. Schala begged us to rescue a Guru named Melchior from the Mountain of Woe. It's so obvious that if we had only talked with him, he could have told us what was going to happen. Part of me is angry that he didn't tell us we were his rescuers when we brought him the sword, but the larger, thinking, part knows that, according to Magus, what happened to us three weeks ago was 20 years ago to him. There's no way he'd be sure we were the same kids. 

Regardless, the resulting fiasco cost Crono his life. Again, I saw something horrible happen. I saw my best friend blown to atoms, literally. I couldn't stop him; he died while trying to save us. That look he gave me was heart breaking. Even if we get him back…

Damnit, why do I feel so sad at the prospect of getting Crono back?

Stupid emotions; machines are never so hard to understand. 

Perhaps, I'd better go back to the beginning; generally it's a good place to start. Crono and I, well, I can't remember NOT knowing him. We've always been best friends. And ever since I've known him, he's had it in that thick head of his that he's going to be a hero. But heroes die…

"Madam Lucca!" Robo's mechanical voice snaps me back into reality. Note to self: find generous way to reward Robo for killing that train of thought.

"Yes?"

"You may stop pushing now. We have placed the shell at the appropriate juncture."

"Oh." We almost pushed it over too far. Silly me. "Um, good. I'll go first if you two don't mind." I look at them. They look at me. They look at me strangely. Another cold gust hits us. I hate this stinkin mountain.

Glenn speaks. "Lucca, usually I would insist upon ladies first. However, given our environ, methinks it best that the metal one goes fist, to scout ahead. He can best find the way to climb the shell with minimal injury unto himself."

"I agree, Lucca. Is this acceptable to you?"

I put my hand to my chin and pucker my lips to one side and consider. Glenn has a point, and it's a good plan. "Go ahead."

Robo walks in front of the shell, out of sight. Then, out of nowhere, Glenn grabs my arm and stares his amphibious eyes into mine. "My lady, I know that the lad means much to you. Nonetheless, thou must keepth a clear head here. Let us not stumble in the race when the finish line lies before us. Remember why we chose not to bring the lady Marle." He lets go and joins Robo out of sight. I deserved that.

I remember leaving Marle at the castle in the Middle Ages. She wanted to go, she begged us to let her come. We decided against it. After the Ocean Palace disaster, it was just her, and me, alone in the Dark Ages. The oceans flooded, blocking access to the gate. She was all but hysterical. She kept on insisting that Crono was alive, and we had to find him. He didn't disintegrate into atoms, he just, vanished and he was probably looking for us. To her credit, she held it together when we were taken aboard the Blackbird. But she wouldn't let us leave until we looked for Crono. 

From the people in the commons of the last village, we heard of a stranger up at the North Cape. I couldn't believe it, and for a while, I was hopeful too. We found Magus instead, but he led us on the right track, to Gaspar and the Chrono Trigger. But from the way Marle carried on, we could see she was emotionally shot. She needed rest. Besides, I honestly think if this doesn't work, and she were with us, she'd fling herself off the mountain. I can't handle another senseless death on my conscience.

She loves Crono. She hasn't said as much, but let's just say subtlety is not one of her strong points. It's not hard to see why. Sure, he can be blockhead, a bit lazy and he can really embarrass himself when he doesn't watch his tongue, but he's a hunk, he's far from stupid, he's got a good heart, and he knows how to treat a woman. It seems like she's winning him over too. Sure, she can be quite vapid, but she grows on you. She's charismatic that way. She's also extraordinarily beautiful. I'm happy for them, I really am. I wish them only the best, I really do. 

But, it saddens me so. Crono's going to drift away from me, from what we had. He's finally a hero, something I never wanted him to be. Heroes die. I was acting like a brat, all those years ago, when I'd sabotage "Knights and Dragons," but what I really wanted was to convince him that it was no fun being a hero. Yet there were other times, when I would let the game go naturally, playing the distressed damsel, and then Crono would come and save me. I liked the idea of him coming for me, of being together, come what may. This didn't help my point, but I don't think Crono would have been dissuaded anyway. 

When we were about nine, the bottom fell out of my social life. Crono was the only friend I had left. So it became distressing for me that my one friend had a goal in life that was tantamount to a death wish. So one day, I confronted him. I'll never forget it. We were at his house and he was practicing with that wooden sword of his. I was sitting on a stump, and I was looking at him, he was busy practicing his technique as I spoke to his back.

I asked him, "So, Crono, you really want to be a hero, huh?"

"Yep."

"You know, being a hero is tough. You could get hurt or even die."

"Nah, that won't happen to me. Besides, what else could I do, hang around here with icky girls while everyone else gets the glory?"

I was vaguely offended, and I reminded him, "Well, I AM a girl you know."

He stopped and looked me right in the eye and smiled. His response: "Nah, you're special."

He meant it as a compliment. But as we grew and the terminology transformed itself from "icky girls" to "hot chicks" I was left as "special." 

I remember, from time to time, that people would ask my parents what they thought the grandkids would look like. It was painfully obvious whom they thought the father would be. Whenever I heard such things, I'd turn beet red from embarrassment, but I often wondered myself. 

It didn't happen that way though. We stayed friends, nothing more. The bottom of my social life only came back once we began time traveling. Crono, on the other hand, seemed to do quite well for himself. He had plenty of female companionship. These relationships never amounted to anything, only lasting for a month or two, but he had them. Every time I saw him with another girl, I'd feel pangs of jealousy. Then I'd remind myself; we weren't involved or anything. He could do whatever he pleased, and I was just envious that he had a love life and I didn't.

_Silly inventor, Crono's for someone else._

Crono's just my friend and that's cool.

_You just keep telling yourself that. Maybe you'll believe it someday._

            I've got a perfectly sound relationship with him, so why muck it up with romantic intent? We're so close, it's like he's the brother I never had. He's been many things to me: friend, defender, lab assistant, drinking buddy, human guinea pig. So what if he's not meant to be with me? Why am I unhappy with that? 

It's simple: because I am. 

Perhaps it's better this way. I don't NEED Crono, and he doesn't NEED me either. This isn't like "Julius and Rosa" where if I can't have him, I'll stab myself. I WANT him. I WANT to be with him. I WANT him to feel the same way.

He's not interested in me. If he were, he would have told me, right? That's what happens in Guardia: Boy likes girl, boy tells girl, girl judges. 

Why would he want me? I'm the shy, plain, inventor's daughter. I'm a nerd. Nerd: n. an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; _especially_: one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits. That's straight out of the dictionary. I'm the quintessential nerd; unstylish, unattractive, completely socially inept AND slavishly devoted to intellectual pursuits.

"Lucca. Lucca! Come quickly lest we leave you behind!" 

Oh shit, Lucca, this is not the time to get all introspective. I run back to the side where Glenn gives me a death glare from on high. Thanks to Robo's efforts, the shell is actually fairly easy to climb, with the remaining spines well spaced. Luckily for all of us, the spines are only sharp at the point. Once up, I can see the final leg of our trip. It looks like smooth sailing. In the snow, I notice the "Clone" of Crono. I'd forgotten about it entirely. It's actually a life-sized doll, but that's another matter. Better do a check. Okay, Glenn's got the pendant around his neck and so I check the pouch…good, I can feel the Trigger. 

How this egg is going to bring Crono back, I haven't a clue. Gaspar's words seem ominous now:

"Let us call that the Chrono Trigger. It is pure potential. By unleashing a specific course of events, it can have a powerful effect on time. Like any egg, it represents a possibility… it may or may not…hatch. But the Chrono Trigger gives you the potential to get your friend back…The egg will have an effect equal to the effort you put into your search. No more, no less. Don't forget that. As long as you keep Crono in your heart, the day you are dreaming of will arrive…"

Did we put enough effort into our search? Does he mean enough to us? Oh God, I hope so. I start walking towards the summit; Glenn and Robo follow, Robo holding the clone. Dread and fatigue make it seem like we're walking towards our own executions.

Death Peak is truly an evil place, where even laws of nature are desecrated. Mountains are supposed to become windier as altitude increases, yet here I stand at the summit and there is no wind whatsoever, though I can see it blows fiercely at the base. It's still cold, but thankfully, it's not snowing and I can see the sun, a rare privilege in this era to be sure. There's a tree, a single lifeless tree here. How it grew, I can't say. It doesn't matter. I nod to the others. It's time.

I walk towards the edge, running my fingers across the Trigger, still safe in it's pouch. I hope I can remember the words. Out of nervous habit, I readjust my glasses. I take out the Trigger, cradle it in my hands and stare at it intently. Here goes: 

It begins softly and becomes louder, "You who fear the night and fight the coming of darkness...Give us strength!"

Glenn comes towards me, grabs the pendant with both hands, as though to channel his energy into it before letting out, "Crono!"

Blue light comes from the pendant and connects with the egg. Once, twice, three times. Then the egg rises out of my hands. I look up dumbstruck as the egg, our hope, shatters. I can't believe my eyes; it's the sound that brings back thought.

"It, it shattered!" is all I can whisper as I fall roughly to my knees. Then my second wind comes. I scream to the ground, "No! It can't be! What use was it to come so far?" 

Glenn solemnly comes to me. He puts his hand on my shoulder. "Despair not… Fate be not malleable." His words give me no comfort.

For the second time in my life, science has destroyed someone I love. This time, it was MY invention. My greatest invention: the Super Dimension Warp, the Telepod. If I'd never built the damn thing, we'd all still be in Truce celebrating the first thousand years of Guardian existence. I wanted to be a scientist, an inventor, like my father, and that machine was my greatest triumph. If I knew then what I know now, I'd have smashed it into a million pieces and dumped them all in the sea!! I want my friend back!!

I jump away, going to the very edge. This time I scream into the heavens with all my strength. 

"Crono! Say something! Don't ignore us!"

Someone heard my plea. The sun begins to eclipse and I can only mouth, "O dear…" as the world goes black.

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            Right before Lavos's blast hits me, I have one last vision, a daydream. The Millennial Fair is closing for the day. The sun is setting just left of Guardia Castle, leaving everything in the pink and purple twilight. Lucca and I are in the Telepod pavilion, silently and gently kissing one another. I've told her, and she feels the same way. It's the start of something simple. Marriage, house, kids. At this moment, it's all I want. Maybe I could have had it, in another life. As it is, it's just another one of those dreams, dreams dashed on the shores of time.

…….

            Suddenly my whole world becomes vertigo. My right side hits something and suddenly, I'm falling and hit my ass. I fall backwards, but something keeps me upright. I think it's a tree. It's cold and the ground is covered in snow. It's damnably cold. Am I dead? Is this the afterlife? I'm alone for a few seconds before three figures materialize out of nowhere. Even before she becomes recognizable, I can make out Lucca's outline. No, no…I failed. She's dead! I couldn't save her! Oh God…

Wait, the others…they're Glenn and Robo! They weren't with us. That means…I'm alive! They're alive! We're all alive! And my life is demonstrated by the burning in my lungs. I gasp for air. 

_Crono, how can you forget to breathe? _

I'm just special that way.  

Lucca looks at me with an expression that's at once joyful and fearful. "Crono, It's about time!!" 

 "How art thou feeling, Crono?" Glenn chirps in, but I'm looking at the woman.

Then Lucca's face changes. The fear and joy disappear and are replaced by anger and relief. I know that face all too well from my mother. She's going to yell at me. For once, I don't care. 

"Y, you dummy!" She gasps like she's about to cry. "You wouldn't believe what we had to go through for you!" Her voice cracks, the anger is weak. Then she does something I wouldn't have suspected: she walks over and hugs me. Not just any hug; mind you, but a bear hug. I'd like that but my ribs are bruised and it hurts something awful. But I only wince.

She speaks again, trying to maintain her composure; it fails. "You mess up again...and we won't save you!" The anger is gone, and Lucca's voice comes out a whispered wail. She grabs on to me like I might disappear if she lets go. Ow.

Glenn and Robo move away out of respect and we're left alone by the tree I'm apparently resting on. Unable to continue on that line of thought, Lucca changes the subject. "While you were gone we had a terrible time…" The rest is a blur. This is the second time she's saved my life. Another chance to do things right. Again cowardice moves me; now I'm afraid not to tell her, consequences be damned. Pride be damned; if she wants to pursue science to the edges of the earth, I'll follow.

"Hey! You listening Crono? You can be so irritating sometimes!" Lucca snaps me back to reality. 

"Yes, I'm listening." With that, I smile at her. Regardless of how she responds, this weight will be lifted today. My right arm goes around her neck; my left hand gently caresses her cheek. I bring my lips to hers, giving her the most gentle kiss I can. She's rigid, then she melts, kissing me back. What began as a love kiss becomes passionate. It feels so good…

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…and so right. This can't be real! This can't possibly be real! I take control of myself. I break the kiss and look at him. Poor boy must be delusional.

"Crono, I'm sorry, but I'm not Marle."

"I know." It feels like someone's poured ice water into my stomach. Before I can respond, Crono speaks to me. 

"Lucca…I love you. I have since…I don't when, but I do. I've been too afraid of what you might say to tell you, but now, I need you to know. I don't know if you feel the same way, but I'm yours if you'll have me."

If this is a dream, never wake me up. I can't help chuckling slightly. "C,Crono, I love you too. Of course I'll have you, you blockhead!" I'm confused though "But, what about Marle? I, I thought you and her…"

He looks down, and then back at me. "She's infatuated. It will pass. Besides, she's infatuated with a hero, and there's only little old me." He gives me a self-deprecating smile. "I'm no hero." It comes out in a tone of defeat.

"Crono, you are a hero. You've fought for the people of Guardia in the past, in the present, even this wasteland future." He starts to say something but I shush him. He needs to hear this. "And even if you weren't, I wouldn't care. I never wanted a hero, just my friend by my side." 

Now I can't help getting emotional. I collapse onto Crono, my head on his shoulder, and my arms around his neck. "Crono, I've wanted you to say something like that to me for a long time. What took you so long?"

"I told you, I was afraid of what you'd say. I want to get married someday, have kids, the normal stuff, and I was afraid you didn't want those things. But I don't care anymore. I just want be with you."

In serpentine fashion, my body comes off his and I look at him. Genuine perplextion is what I feel. "And who says I don't want those things? I do. If this is about the whole science thing, you got me figured wrong. I love science, but I can't hold it, or have it hold me. It can't love me back. Only a human being can do that. You should know that more than anyone." I've really got to work on my image if my best friend is that wrong about me.

"Now come on, we've got to get you some warm clothes before you freeze to death." I grab his arm and force him up. Then I remember. Stupid Lucca! You didn't to bring extra clothes! This is why your inventions keep blowing up; you forget the little things. Oh well, improvise. 

  "Hehe, heh, on second thought, hold on to me." I channel some of my magical energy to Crono. It's not enough to burn him, just warm him a bit.

"Oh, that's nice. Where'd you pick up that trick?" he asks me.

"On the way up. Oh, and wait till you see my Flare technique…"

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"…it'll kick the pants off you little Luminaire spell." 

"Let's not push it." I solidly remind her. After all, my Luminaire is the supreme magical attack. "By the way, are we still going after Lavos now?"

She smirks, "Ah ha! You weren't listening to me at all!" Then her expression goes blank. "We don't have much of choice. Gaspar, the old man at the End of Time, he says we're the only ones who can stand against Lavos now."

My excitement is palpable. "Oh, joy. Well, once more into the breach my friends…" I'm resigned to my fate. 

She chimes in, "And never was there such a motley crew. A cavewoman, a robot, a princess, a brooding sorcerer who happens to be a price, a frog-man who's also a cursed knight, a mad scientist and…a hero to lead them all." She points at me. I did hear her say something about Magus joining us, that's a red flag. I'll have to find out where he's a prince.

"Oh Lucca, you're not a mad scientist, you're just…" how do I phrase this, "…overly joyful when your inventions work. That and you have cackling down to a tee."

I laugh; she tries not to and fails. "Oh Crono, you're terrible."

"You know it." I kiss her again.

 I'm glad to be alive. And now I truly have something worth fighting for. I can't believe I have her. Lucca: my friend, my lover, my Guardian Angel.

Now all I have to do is kill the damn porcupine. And when I do, I'm going to go home and pound Lucca like a cheap nail. Heh, heh. Oh God, did I just say that? Oh, no I did! I can taste the boot leather! Yum.


End file.
